K
Korax chi-R'Mor
Gast
Jacques Chirac, the French Prime Minister, was
sitting in his office wondering what kind of
mischief he could perpetrate against the United
States when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said.
"This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform ya that we are
officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "this is indeed
important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's
calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me
next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have
one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr.
Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get
us some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that
I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel
carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one
hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get
back to ya."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr.
Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get
ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie
McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns
in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his
throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100
bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've
increased my army to two hundred thousand!"
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" said Paddy. "Again I'll
have to ring ya back."
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top
o' the mornin', Mr.Chirac! I am sorry to tell ya
that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the
sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over
a bunch of pints, and decided there's no foo-kin way
we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners."
sitting in his office wondering what kind of
mischief he could perpetrate against the United
States when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said.
"This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform ya that we are
officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "this is indeed
important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's
calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me
next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have
one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr.
Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get
us some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that
I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel
carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one
hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get
back to ya."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr.
Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get
ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie
McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns
in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his
throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100
bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've
increased my army to two hundred thousand!"
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" said Paddy. "Again I'll
have to ring ya back."
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top
o' the mornin', Mr.Chirac! I am sorry to tell ya
that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the
sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over
a bunch of pints, and decided there's no foo-kin way
we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners."